


Her Voice

by TWICE_Upon_A_Time



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I Tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 16:07:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20117827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWICE_Upon_A_Time/pseuds/TWICE_Upon_A_Time
Summary: Nayeon always had this little voice in her head. One that told her she was perfect, to never give up, to trust her gut, and it will always be worth it in the end.





	Her Voice

Nayeon always had this little voice in her head. One that told her she was perfect, to never give up, to trust her gut, and it will always be worth it in the end.  
  
As a kid, the little voice had been her mother's. She was the one who instilled this confidence and determination into her. Her mother had always been there to pick her up if she fell and was always proud of her. 

As a teen, the little voice had been come her own. She took the reins on her life after her mother past and her father kicked her out. Without her mother there, he had become violent. Turns out he hadn't accepted her as her mother did.

As a young adult, the voice became her professor's. He helped her after her voice had disappeared with the alcohol she drowned herself in. He saw all of her potentional behind the pain she drowned in. He pulled her out of her hell and put her in the light with the help of music.

As a woman, the voice changed again.  
  
The voice became Jeongyeon's.

Jeongyeon knew of her past. She knew all of it. She was there the whole time. She had been playing with Nayeon the day she fell on the playground and scraped her knee. She had been the shoulder Nayeon cried on the night she learned of her mother's illness. She was the one who begged her parents to let Nayeon stay after her father abused her until she fought back, resulting in her having to leave her home and sister behind. She was the one who drove Nayeon to the first AA meeting that her professor had suggested. She had bought the guitar she used as her escape. She was the one Nayeon always had in her corner.  
  
She was always there.

It wasn't that Nayeon never noticed anything. She noticed every look or glace Jeongyeon took when she thought Nayon wasn't looking, every touch that made Jeongyeon go rigid, every converstaion so full of love.  
  
She just didn't think Jeongyeon was like _that_.  
  
Until she heard every single word that spilled from Jeongyeon's lips that one night. The night where Jeongyeon had been the one drunk rather than Nayeon. The night that changed everything.  
  
_"Jeongyeon, stop. You've had enough," Nayeon said, pulling the bottle from Jeongyeon's hand. It slips from Jeongyeon easily as she is so affected by the alcohol in her system._

_"No! You drank your feelings and now it's my turn," she slurs reaching for the bottle._

_Nayeon smashed the bottle on the ground. She rather have to clean a mess later than let Jeongyeon spiral the way she has many times. "Jeongyeon, please."_

_"No, Nayeon. I can't do anything else for you. I can't do it anymore," Jeongyeon whispers, turning away from the older woman._

_"What do you mean?" Nayeon asked, carefully stepping over the glass and closer to Jeongyeon._

_"You sit here and I try everything to get you to notice me. To love me. But no, it's all about Nayeon," Jeongyeon turns back towards her. Nayeon can see the hurt in her eyes._

_"Jeongyeon, I do love you," Nayeon reaches out to touch Jeongyeon but she moved out of her way._

_"But not the way I love you. Not the way you love her." Jeongyeon's eyes started to tear as she wraps her arms around herself._

_"Who?"_

_"You know who, Nayeon. Don't play dumb," Jeongyeon said sharply._

_"Who? Who are you talking about?" Nayeon continued, stepping closer to the short haired woman._

_"Sana! I gave you everything! I was always there! But, still, you love her!" Jeongyeon yelled, her arms swinging out._

_"Jeongyeon, I don't understand," Nayeon mutters, startled by Jeongyeon's sudden outburst._

_"I love you, Nayeon. I only ever wanted you to love me back. In the same way," Jeongyeon said, drunkenly stumbling closer to Nayeon._

_"Jeongyeon. I'm-" Nayeon started._

_"You're what? Sorry? Sorry that you never noticed? Or did you just not care?" interrupted Jeongyeon._

_"I-" Nayeon was at a lost for words. Nothing she could say would fix this._

_"Save it, Nayeon. I can't listen to you. I have to go," Jeongyeon started towards the door._

_"Please don't," Nayeon called, grabbing Jeongyeon by the wrist._

_"You chose her. It's over. Go get your prize, beautiful. You won." Jeongyeon snatched her wrist from Nayeon's grip and opened the door in front of her._

_"Jeongyeon. This was never a game."_

_"Well, I still got played. I should have know better." Jeongyeon voice sounded like she had finally started to cry, explaining why she wouldn't turn around._

_"I do love you, Jeongyeon. You have to know that," Nayeon said, now crying herself._

_"I know you love me. It just isn't the same."_

The sound of the door slaming shut echoed around the apartment

Jeongyeon left Nayeon. And Nayeon did nothing.

Nayeon always had someone to fight her battles instead herself. But now, she was gone.

<strike>Only, Nayeon didn't know how gone she really was.</strike>

It was the next day. Nayeon called Sana and broke things off with her. Sana told her if this was it then this was it. She couldn't go back to Sana.

Nayeon didn't want Sana. She wouldn't go back. She needed Jeongyeon.

After being hung up on by the angry Japanese woman, she made her way to Jeongyeon's apartment. She knocked once, twice.

No answer.

She tried again. Same thing.

She leaned against the door and slid down until she hit the ground. She brough her knees to her chest and started to cry. She had messed up many times before, but never before had it been this bad.

Jeongyeon never, _never_ left Nayeon. No matter how bad she got, Nayeon was never too much for Jeongyeon too handle. That's how she knew this was the end of their relationship. She wished she could fix it, but it was too late.

Nayeon didn't move from the spot for hours. She hadn't even shifted until her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. It was Jeongyeon's mother, the woman who helped Nayeon from age 16 to this day.

"Hello, Mrs. Yoo," Nayeon answered the call, trying to cover a sniffle.

_"Nayeon, have you been crying?"_ Mrs. Yoo asked, sounding as if she herself was crying at the moment.

"N-no. Why have you called today? We barely speak anymore," Nayeon wiped her tears away.

_"Oh, sweetie. I- I think it would be best if you came home yourself."_

Sweetie was what Mrs. Yoo used for Nayeon and Nayeon only. It was her way of calling her in an endearing way, as she was like a daughter but by heart rather than blood. But the way she said it today worried Nayeon.

"Did something happen?"

_"Please come home as soon as possible. We'll talk here,"_ Mrs. Yoo said sounding upset and urgent.

"Oh, umm. Okay. I'll be right there," Nayeon nodded, though on the cell phone.

_"Yes. See you soon,"_ Mrs Yoo rushed, hanging up only a second after.

Mrs. Yoo rarely called Nayeon herself. She was like a mother to her, but she felt that she wouldn't want to come off as if she trying to replace Nayeon's real mother. Nayeon has told her time and time again to not worry, she is glad to have someone in her life but she could never replace her mother.

Nayeon thinks of this on her way to the Yoo's home. If she had called, something must have happened. The memories of last night hit her as she pulls up to the small house, as they family's home was not far from their daughter's apartment.

Nayeon blood runs cold at the thought of something happening to Jeongyeon as she knocks on the door.

"Sweetie. Please come inside."

There goes that tone again.

Nayeon follows Mrs. Yoo to the dining room. As they pass through the living room, Nayeon looks at all the pictures of a child Jeongyeon with her sisters. She can't explain how she feels when she sees this small crooked smile on the girl who grew to love her. She only know that she doesn't like this feeling. Something happened to Jeongyeon. Something bad.

She sits down at the large dining table, Mrs. Yoo. Adjacent to her, Mr. Yoo is on his wife's side. They both look so... Broken. Mrs. Yoo places a hand over Nayeon's and gives it a small squeeze before she speaks.

"I'm so sorry. I must inform you," Mrs. Yoo took a deep breath and continued, "Jeongyeon has passed away."

_Jeongyeon has passed away._

_Passed away as in died?_

_Of course, as in died._

_Jeongyeon died._

Nayeon feels both of the parents hug her as she starts to cry... No, no. Sob. She's sobbing uncontrollably.

"She got into a car accident last night. No one else was injuried. They say she was driving under the influence of alcohol. She crashed into a wall trying to steer away from the wrong lane she drifted into. I'm so sorry, Nayeon," Mr. Yoo explained. Nayeon could tell he wanted to cry. But he had to be strong. For his wife. For his daughters. For Nayeon.

Nayeon is hurt. Her best friend just died.

But mostly she was guilty. Because it was her fault.

She tells the Yoos this. They only hug her tighter, telling her it was nobody's fault. That sometimes in life, things just happen. And no matter what Nayeon had to keep on going on. They all had to live on.

For Jeongyeon.

  
_"You are perfect just the way you are. Don't let him tell you different."_

That's what Jeongyeon said when Nayeon was kicked out.

_"Come on, Nayeon. If you stop going now, you'll never make it anywhere."_

That's what she said when Nayeon wanted to quit AA.

_"What do you feel is right? Go with that. Always."_

That's what she said when Nayeon wasn't sure in performing her music.

_"If we stay together now, we'll be together forever."_

That... That is what she said when they first met. When they were each left out during recess. Jeongyeon for her boy-ish name at the time, Nayeon for her bunny-like teeth.

Jeongyeon was right. She was always right.

They will _always_ be together.

Jeongyeon was the only thing to Nayeon. The only thing that kept her going. The only thing that kept her clean.

Jeongyeon was the only voice in Nayeon's head.

_Her voice._

**Author's Note:**

> I... I don't know. I don't write angst but I kinda liked how this turned out. Honestly, this is the first real angst I've written, never mind posted.
> 
> Yeah, please if you have anything to say, go ahead and drop it in the comments. If you liked or if you thought this was absolute shit you could say that. I won't take it to heart, just let's me know to try harder next time.
> 
> Kk, thanks for reading!


End file.
